I've been interested in politics for a long time, most likely because I was raised on a steady diet of talk radio. Yes, this means Rush Limbaugh. I know, the very name is enough to make some people recoil in horror. If it offends you... I've got more...
Michael Medved!
Sean Hannity!
Ann Coulter!
(Who, incidentally, is one of the funniest people I've ever met. People need to stop taking her and other talk radio personalities so seriously and — as Herman Cain says — get a sense of humor.)
I thought I was pretty politically aware in high school, but working in Washington taught me more than I could have imagined. That's where I gained my real political knowledge. In the process of learning about hearings, bill markup sessions, and legislation, I became a political wonk.
This is a problem.
Why is it a problem, you might ask?
Because once you become politically aware, suddenly everything becomes political.
AAARGH.
For instance, I recently went to the touring Broadway production of "Mary Poppins." (Which I highly recommend, by the way. If you go, watch Bert, because Nicolas Dromard seriously steals the show.)
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| Witnessing a crime in action: Shameless scene stealing! |
The first time I saw it (yes, I went back more than once...oops...) I was unexpectedly hit with politics during the first act, which jerked me straight out of the feel-good Disney-ish experience. It wasn't the musical's fault — or intention — it was mine. The culprit was a song called, "Precision and Order."
To most people, it's probably just a song about the stodgy Mr. Banks and his job at the... well, bank. But I heard so much more! If my "Mary Poppins" visit hadn't been on the same day as President Obama's "Pass this bill" jobs speech, I probably wouldn't have thought much of it, but the unfortunate circumstances made the political comparison hard to ignore.
During the song, Mr. Banks has a conversation with Mr. Von Hossler, who wants a loan:
VH: "Eh, Banks, what objections can you have? My securities are more than adequate and Latin America is an expanding market. What's the matter? Have you no courage?!"
B: "But Mr. Von Hossler, what I haven't been able to grasp is, what exactly is your final product?"
VH: "What do you think?! Money, of course!"
B: "But making money out of money? Is it enough?"
POLITICS! BAM!
During Obama's speech, he called for more government spending as a way to increase jobs. Never mind that the first stimulus was a bust — he wants a second one, and he wants it NOW! The president seems convinced that he can create jobs (and money) out of money.
It's a little South Park Underpants Gnomes, if you know what I mean.
Phase 1: Collect underpants.
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit
The musical continued with a visit from a man named Northbrook, who was also seeking a loan:
N: "Have you come to your decision, Mr. Banks? There's a town and good people whose future depends on you."
B: "I know that."
N: "Give us a chance. You won't regret it. The factory could be running in weeks. (Singing) My men have dreams to earn an honest living; a wife and kids, a home to call their own."
In the end, Mr. Banks chose to give the loan to a "good man" rather than what seemed like a good idea
A man with dreams that life hasn't broken
A man with hopes, ambitions to fulfill
A man you're certain at first glance deserves a chance
Of course, the first plan — making money out of money — failed spectacularly, while the second plan — betting on individual ingenuity, willingness to work, and a real business plan — succeeded.
Who could've seen that coming? (Oh wait — I could have. And so could anybody with an appreciation for the innate human desire for self-sufficiency and honest labor.)
Politics tend to ruin my movie experiences too. For instance, I will never see the movie "Avatar" because you're supposed to cheer when U.S. Marines die. Don't believe me? Ask James Cameron. Maybe I'm being too sensitive (although Nile Gardiner and the Marines don't think so) but I've already seen "Fern Gully," "Pocahontas," and "Dances with Wolves" anyway.
I haven't seen "G.I. Joe" for political reasons either — the filmmakers pandered to a global audience by removing the American aspect of the G.I. Joe franchise. It reportedly only made $100 million overseas. "Captain America," on the other hand, has made $178 million overseas so far. Go figure.
Aside from seeing politics in Hollywood (ugh), there are additional problems as well. There are loads of political jokes that are absolutely hilarious, but you have to be a "special" sort of wonk to understand them. For instance, I once stumbled across this comment string on a political website:
"Sheila must have forgotten her meds this AM."
"Rumor has it that Sheila Jackson Lee is actually Cynthia McKinney on meds. This is as well as she gets."
"You should have seen her when she was Maxine Waters."
Hilarious. But you know those jokes that become un-funny when you have to explain them? Yeah...
In other cases, people see a car commercial:
I see political commentary: "You drivers are idiots! Your highways are underfunded, so pay more taxes! Check your tires, moron! You're too stupid to drive! Let us take care of you, simpletons!"
It seems odd that Audi is trying to sell cars by insulting buyers, but maybe I'm just imagining things.
If Audi REALLY wants to insert politics into ads, they might want to take a cue from Ford.
Better.
Sometimes, the curse of seeing politics in everything — music, TV, Tweets, video games, movies, interviews with celebrities, advertising campaigns, etc. — is enough to make me long for the good ol' days when I didn't know anything. Sometimes it makes me envious of friends and family members who blithely ignore everything political. One of my younger brothers is so averse to politics that he'll change the subject, leave the room, or shut out the discussions when political topics come up.
Sometimes I wonder which one of us is happier — although I never wonder which of us is better off.
ADDENDUM: Get this - Ford pulled the ad. There are all kinds of rumors out today that the White House pressured them to do it. But this is the modern age - once it's out there, it's not going anywhere. Haha! Particularly not if the actual guy in the commercial has anything to say about it...
